Pain can be just as undescribable as love is. Takes you from the sudden, tearing your soul from the inside and escaping through your eyes. 

"Un gran dolor solo puede ser superado por una alegría aun mas grande".

In the mean time, is already here and I know that will come after me stronger during the comming hours and days. 

I said I was ready, but no one could ever be.

I wish i could have told him what he wanted to hear, that being together and his love were enough. But by now, I just think love is overrated.  I sounded selfish and became the kind of person is inevitable to hate, the kind of person I always judged. As He said, I just told him all the things I promised I would never say. 

It seems like life tests us to see how brave or naive we are, how strong or heartless, how determined or ungrateful. 

But I trust in time, probably proves me right. But if it doesn't, at the end is not going to make a difference, we are our choices and we have the power over our own fate...

It might seem like I planned everything, that I waited till the last minute to make the bomb explode, damages are countless. 

He is broken, I bleed him out and then just stared at my mess. My words were meaningless, the damage has been done, my reasons were not enough, didn't make sense for anyone. But the truth remains, love is not enough, I wish it were, thought it did, but there is an emptiness that very few people could understand. 

Perfection is an illusion, I am very sorry for not being the person you though I was, you needed and you loved. I am sorry for not stopping this wave of pain for you, saying that I loved you and that we will overcome this , I just couldn't, words didn't come out, and I couldn't explain why, when I had promised to stay by your side forever.

Then out of the sudden I knew why. Your place has been taken, I am sorry for letting that happen, for not resisting, I should have. One day you will know and hopefully doesn't cause you as much suffering as it would do now. 

I never expected this to happen, believe me. Maybe destiny is playing me, maybe God was testing me and I already have failed.

I want to believe you will find peace and one day forgive me for destroying you now.

I'm sorry that our love wasn't enough.