Put it down. Don't rifle through a love gone. 

Let it be exactly what it was

Let it rest in a vaulted pantheon

Without glum grief, nor thundering applause.

Don't rake through all the things they said

It will anchor you in memory

Nor curate, exaggerate

Them in warm, nostalgic reveries.

Let it lie, untouched and out of reach 

Continue being in your present 

Or love gone, the past, will future beach

Like an ant, it will amber you in lament.  

Arch Hades.

 The longer you hold to the past, the deeper will hurt when you finally see yourself thrown to oblivion.  

Remember, when you do not learn your lesson the first time, you'll be condemned to take it again.  

I spent 2 years crying, grieving his absence, rolling on guilt... it was pointless. I put my life on hold, keeping me of making permanent decisions, trusting deep down that eventually everything would "take its place". It did not. 

It is simple, life is not like the movies.  People do not get their happy endings, life is not a single drama that can be summarized in 90 minutes.

What a terrible story  filled with pain, lies, betrayal, guilt, remorse, deceive, anger and despice. 

Who would've thought? After being madly inlove, crazy about each other we'll simply lost it all. 

You said you'd wish your girls to feel and to know what being dilusionaly happy is, to have a love that makes them levitate... to have what is told in the movies and that we once had.  

I hope your girls do, I wish them to  have it and to keep it. I hope they never feel the deep hurt of a broken heart, that never get their hopes ripped up and their future shattered. 

I truly hope their never be as destroyed and broken as I was, as I am...  for them and for you. 

I wish you never feel as powerless and desperate  for being unable to save them the sorrow of loneliness, as weak as my parents once felt and still do.  May the pain they have felt through my own one, never returns to you. 

I saw our future, I saw our house, I saw our children, I saw our stunning life.  But I was delusional, I still am.